"HARNESS" column for Beefyboyz.com - October 2003
Basic Rope Bondage Tips
This month's question is: "My boyfriend and I have found that we like to tie each other up during sex. We're both new to this and use whatever is to hand (ties, belts, scarves etc.). Do you have any advice for bondage beginners? P.S. we're not looking to spend a lot of money."
There's nothing like the sensation of being completely bound whilst other things are happening to you. There are lots of different materials you can use to tie each other up: metal, rope, canvas, rubber, plastic wrap, bandages, straps and webbing - but if you're new to bondage the cheapest, easiest and most flexible material to use is rope. Here's some advice for basic rope bondage (the Top is the one doing the tying up).
- The best way to learn bondage is in person from someone who knows
what they are doing. Ask at your local leatherbar if any local clubs
or organisations run courses in bondage for beginners.
- Blindfolding the sub at the start of the scene means that
he can't see if you're making any mistakes or changing your mind as
you go along. That gives the Top more confidence and helps the
sub to relax and enjoy the experience.
- Soft cotton rope is easier to knot and less likely to cause
friction burns than rope with a plastic coating or rough surface. I
recommend rope that's 6-10 mm diameter for most bondage and thinner
for cock and ball bondage.
- Always be careful when pulling rope that you don't cause a burn on
your sub's skin or flick the end of the rope into his eyes.
- Consider how you would get the sub out of the rope bondage quickly
in an emergency. A good rope bondage Top will own a pair of bandage
scissors to cut ropes quickly and safely. You can buy bandage scissors
from a medical supply shop or larger pharmacies.
- Check the sub's hands and feet regularly during the scene to make
sure they are still warm. If the hands or feet are cold then loosen
the appropriate ropes until his circulation improves. Don't rely on
the sub to tell you that his hands or feet have gone numb - he might
not be able to tell.
- Don't tie rope around the sub's neck, behind his knees or elbow
joints, inside his wrists or any other pressure points. Apart from
restricting breathing or circulation you could also cause nerve
damage. Leather wrist cuffs are a good investment as you can attach
the sub's wrists to a variety of locations quickly and easily without
cutting off his circulation.
- Check that the sub's breathing is unimpaired throughout the
scene, especially if he is hog-tied or lying face down.
- Each rope you add during a bondage scene will change the tension
in the other ropes, so make sure you go back and check your earlier
work at regular intervals to see that they are just tight enough to
restrict movement without causing injury.
- Think ahead to the final position you'd like the sub to be in.
It's no good tying him firmly into a position where you can't reach
the parts you want to play with!
- Consider the sub's stability. If he's standing up and you tie his
hands behind his back and then tie his ankles together, it won't take
much for him to fall over and be unable to break his fall - although he
may break his nose or wrists. If the sub is standing it's a good idea
to tie his feet apart rather than together, and make sure he has some
support at his arms or from ropes crossing him in front and behind.
- Don't tie the ends of ropes within reach of your sub's teeth or
fingers. Otherwise, while your back is turned he'll be concentrating
on undoing your handiwork. Use the middle of a rope to attach your
sub's wrist to a pole, hook or headboard - then take the ends of the
rope somewhere else and tie them off out of reach.
- You don't have to buy expensive black rope from an adult store - other options are available. Market stalls, shipping chandlers and magic shops will often sell cheap cotton rope in various colours. Before you say that black rope looks more sexy - think how hard it is to tie a knot in black rope in a dimly lit playroom. Also, if the sub is already blindfolded it won't matter what colour the rope is.
- It's a good idea to wrap coloured sticky tape around the ends of
the ropes to stop them from fraying. You can use different coloured
tape as a code for different lengths of rope.
- If you don't have any suitable places to tie your sub to, buy some large hooks from a DIY store. You can screw the hooks
into door frames or a wooden bed base to provide anchor points. You
can always unscrew the hooks afterwards if you don't want other people
to see them.
There is more information on bondage the SM Gays website (click on "Information Sheets").
Have fun, and look after yourselves and the people you play with.
International Mr Leather 2003